"Addie, you're on deck."

I nervously stand, waiting outside the door, folder-in-hand, mentally reciting my lyrics over and over, trying to remember the first note. How can I exude confidence when I am physically shaking?

"Go ahead," the stage manager says, motioning for me to open the door.

Through the door a high-ceilinged room holds a small table with two women. To the left a man sits behind a baby grand piano. He motions to me and I walk over and hand him my music. He asks me some questions about my song's tempo. I'm honestly not sure, so I sing it lightly for him to give him an idea. We agree, so I move back into the main part of the room onto the blue "X."

"Hello, my name is Addie Gerlach and I will be singing Take Me or Leave Me from Rent."

The piano begins and I, trying to remember all the things I've been practicing, sing as best I can. Do I make eye contact with the women at the table? How should I have my arms at this part? What if my face conveys the wrong thing?

It's over almost as soon as it began and I stand awkwardly. A little chit-chat from the women, a smile and a nod, and I'm free to go. I'll expect to hear back in a few days if anything will come of this, my first audition.

******

"Thank you for taking the time to audition. Unfortunately, we weren't able to cast you at this time." Well, crap. It hits me harder than I thought it would, like two days of disappointed crying. The fog of despair lifts and I emerge with a little more clarity than before.

I'm grateful for the chance to try. I got an idea to do something completely out of my comfort zone, and I tried. I didn't succeed, but I tried.

And I think that experience is valuable.