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I Miss

Updated: Jul 12, 2020

A few weeks ago, I sat in my living room and watched Governor Inslee announce that schools would not be reopening this year. I knew it was going to be said. I knew what was going to happen. There was no doubt in my mind. As he spoke the words though my heart broke; tears streamed down my face. There are lots of reasons. I genuinely love my kid’s schools. I have known some of the kids in their classes for four years; if you watch a kid grow from Kindergarten to Grade 3 that is a long time. I’m learning to mourn in a new way. It’s not a lesson I necessarily wanted to learn but here I am in the middle of it. These words poured straight out of my soul. There are probably things you miss too, and it is ok to say it and share it.

I miss the little girl that calls me Mrs. Tessa Tinsley’s mom every time I see her. I miss the boy that walks his sister to class that I see in the morning and nods hello even though we’ve never spoken. I miss the kid I’ve known a couple years that jokingly tells everyone we are best friends. I miss the quiet girl that I barely know but smiles every time I see her because we hung out a couple times while others practiced for a play. I miss chatting with the receptionist and laughing every time I sign in at the office. I miss reading with kids. I miss the quiet Grade 3 hallway. I miss listening to kids recite times tables to me. I miss the couple of minutes I got to ask the kids how they are because some don’t have anyone else that asks. I miss the staff and teachers. I miss the paraeducator that always smiles at me at pick up and says, “I’m so glad you know how to do this.” I miss seeing my kids in class. I miss walking the halls. I miss the routine. I miss the quiet hour after they are all dropped off and I drink a cup of coffee alone. I miss running errands with my husband and day dates. I miss the house being cleaned and left clean for a few hours. I miss different days because every day is the same.

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