Updated: Aug 16, 2020
The Lord writes our days and he has written these days. Minute-by-minute he has ordained these days even though they feel like weeks. These days that fill us with fear he is asking us to trust in him, not in the fear. These days of monotony he is asking us to trust that someday the days will be different.
We see in his word, the Bible, the theme of neverending wandering. The Israelites wandered after their escape from Egypt without knowing from where their next meal would come. God literally provided food from the sky. He provided a day's need, or two in order to give them a sabbath's rest.
Speculating, Jesus more-or-less wandered until the start of his ministry around age 30. He came to Earth and lived perfectly, waiting for God to say, "Go."
What if our fear of being "behind" is simply a waiting for God's direction?
#JesusChangedMyLife because He's told me it's okay to wait. Get an education, but don't work. It's not your time, he says. Try, and fail, because it's not your time, he says. Make plans but be prevented from executing on those plans, because it's not your time, he says.
We see time as linear. First this happened, then this, then this until forever, until the end. But God doesn't see it that way. A one-time failure doesn't seal the deal for forever. There is always grace and another chance.
#JesusChangedMyLife because He's comforted me when I fallen, having continually gone back to my sin like a dog to his vomit. A believer at 14, I originally thought I'd have life more "together" by 38. At 30, he showed me my pride and faith in religion, not him. At 32, he gave me an unexpected gift I didn't want, my last baby, showing his deep love and care for my well-being. He allowed things in which I'd put my faith to crumble, and I began to see the only thing in which my faith should be is Him.
#JesusChangedMyLife because He is patient and loving like any good father should be. He gave me good parents, then showed me how he is much greater. He gave me good friends, then showed me that he is my best friend. He gave me a good husband, then showed me he is my greatest love. When I put my faith in people I see them fail, and it turns me to Jesus: a patient and kind person who will never fail.
#JesusChangedMyLife because He is okay with my big emotions. The "bad days" don't change his love for me. His love is not contingent on my behavior or mood, productivity or decisions.
In this time of waiting, wandering, and filling the days, Jesus is changing my life for the good, another chapter in the novel of life, but the story isn't over yet.